All the rest

hufflepuff cropped

For instance, Slytherin
Took only pure-blood wizards
Of great cunning, just like him,
And those of sharpest mind
Were taught by Ravenclaw
While the bravest and the boldest
Went to daring Gryffindor.
Good Hufflepuff, she took the rest,
And taught them all she knew…
– Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix by J. K. Rowling

I’ve always been a bit of a Hufflepuff. Hard-working but a Jack of all trades, never settling in one area for too long and flitting from project to project like a moth. I’ve never been the brightest or hottest flame but have always steadily burned away at things that have taken my fancy. Usually, this is something I am very proud of about myself. #hufflepuff4lyfe. But occasionally, a little nagging voice will say in the back of my mind “What have you ever achieved? What are you actually good at? Why can’t you just stick with something?” This voice will usually rise up after reading about incredible people who dedicated years, decades, or their whole lives to just one thing and doing it superbly.  If you dedicate yourself to just one thing, you can get very, very good at it. I look back on my 30 years and think, what have I managed to do with my time? What am I an expert in? To counter this voice, I made a list of some of the weird, wacky and wonderful stuff I have learnt to do over the years as I flew between things: an environmental science degree, a dance studio, four dance businesses (woah), a performance career, various arts projects, and parenthood.

Here’s 30 things I know:

  1. 17  ways to sexily remove a dress on stage
  2. How to write an academic essay
  3. More about social media marketing than I ever thought I would (or ever wanted to)
  4. How to identify different species of Eucalyptus trees by their buds
  5. How to produce a solo show: from script, to costumes, to staging, to marketing
  6. That aerials are not for me (it took me a long time and many injuries later to learn that one though)
  7. How NOT to open a dance studio
  8. How to use photoshop
  9. How to wrangle 50 half dressed women and get them on stage for 3 minutes of glory
  10. How to steal pollen from bees (without killing the bee)
  11. How to tie-dye (thank you to my hippy Mum for that one)
  12. How to make almost any costume item with a hot glue gun
  13. How to ask to get properly paid for my work
  14. How to twirl tassels on my butt
  15. How to give panadol to a baby without making them gag (learned that one the hard way)
  16. How to start a business
  17. How to say goodbye to a business
  18. How to stop worrying if I am “following” properly and just enjoy dancing
  19. How to work myself into the ground
  20. How to set up a line of Elliot traps to catch mice, lizards, rats, dunnarts and any other creatures who enjoy peanut butter and oats bait
  21. How to make sticky date pudding
  22. All about tax, super, GST and workplace regulations (fuuuunnnnn)
  23. How to balance a spreadsheet (more fuuunnnn)
  24. How to take a $10 Kmart bra and make it sparkle so much it’s blinding
  25. How to produce shows with over 200 performers (it’s a lot of spreadsheets)
  26. How to say no
  27. How to run an office
  28. How to balance a sword on my head
  29. How to make a living as an artist
  30. How to always be a beginner

This is just a list I came up with in 10 minutes or so. I’m sure there is plenty more if I really thought about it. So, if you’re ever feeling envious or like you have achieved little in life, take 10 minutes to list all the weird and wacky things you know. And don’t ever let anyone tease you for being in Hufflepuff. I’ll take ’em on any day 😉

3 Comments

  1. #18 makes me go whoa… I’m not the only person who has ever struggled with this! thankyou for sharing. That’s 30 years well spent, that you can look back on so much so far! This is also possibly my fave illustration so far. Awesomeness! *high five*

    Like

  2. Wow what a list! Also heartening because to me you look like an expert in quite a few areas. I think of you as a fast learner and someone who has a streak of raw talent. It’s weirdly comforting to know it doesn’t look like that to you from the inside.

    Like

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